Happiness??

Without a moment’s notice, you might have to suddenly change directions in your career—— I’ve always liked reading horoscopes but never really believed in them. It was more entertaining than anything but this years yearly forecast is definitely on point. Just this month it seemed like God just handed me happiness on a silver platter. I am leaving a company that I have been with for 4 years. I am a little sad to go but I was so unbelievably unhappy with where I was at. Many interviews and applications later I finally landed a job and to my surprise the offer was substantial. More money , great benefits and a great company??? Sign me up!!!

You’re learning the hard way how to love yourself the way you want and deserve to be loved.—— Ah.. Relationships my biggest weakness. Right now I am with an amazing man, I couldn’t ask to be with a better person he brings me happiness and so much more. I am still extremely distraught that I hurt someone that means so much to me. I need to constantly remind myself that not everyone is out to hurt me, slowly I can open my heart and not be so cold. It’s not him it was never him that did this to me and there was no reason for my actions. With that said I hope forgiveness is a start to building a future together.

I turn 22 next week….Eek! WOW! I have an old soul because I feel much older than that.. not that I’m complaining=). I’ll be in California for my uncle’s wedding that following week and then my new job and school will start. The future is looking bright so far… hopefully it continues because I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the year.

"A mistake is always forgivable, rarely excusable and always unacceptable."

-Robert Fripp

Break up

And there will come a day when you’re no longer the victim of heartbreak, but the offender. A day when you will hurt someone you care about, and watch their agony unfold before your eyes. You will be torn between doing what you want to do, and doing the things that they’d need you to do in order for them to be okay.

You start to wonder if what you really want is even worth their pain. What is it that you want? Independence? Freedom? To have a grip on reality again? Is all that really worth someone else’s heartbreak? Someone that doesn’t deserve to be in that much pain?

Yes. There will come a day when you become a monster. Then you will have to just sit back and allow your monstrosity to take over you, and your heart will break in more ways than one. Yet you are the monster, so there will be no sympathy for you. No warm embrace from friends, no reassurance from strangers. You will be left alone with the damage that you’ve done and the pain that you’ve caused.

But in the long run you know that things will be okay, because you listened to yourself and chose to do what you wanted to. You get a new page, a fresh start. With no promises, no lies, no expectations, no agendas. It’s just you and your newly unwritten book.

How curious that you should give up everything you had for nothing. You are a peculiar monster, you are.

- Frail Beauty

"Do you know where your heart is?"

Frail Beauty The last post

This is the last time I’ll write about you. So enjoy it, because you’ll never get this much attention from a girl again.

This time around I’m not crying, my heart isn’t breaking. In fact, I’m smiling. You think that just because you stole something from me, I’ll lose everything? I won’t. I’ll never lose it all. I’ll always have a place. Why? Because I don’t screw people over.

Just a few hours ago you said:

Rule 1) Don’t give a shit about ANYONE.

And where has this gotten you? You’re alone. You’re all alone, with everyone hating you. And what have you stood up for in the last couple of weeks? Nothing. You’ve screwed others over for no reason. It’s the only thing you’re good at.

So enjoy your spoils of thievery, and know that they don’t bother me. I stopped letting you get to me the second I saw what a pathetic loser you really are. I have friends. Thus, there will always be a place for me. You set me back, yes. But you haven’t left me with nothing. I still have everything. And now I’m free.

So maybe you should re-read all those old, tear-stained posts where I wrote about my undying love for you. I know you enjoyed those, I know they fed your ego. I’m sorry to say you’ll never mean that much to anyone ever again. Especially not me.

Fairwell, Alex.
I laugh in your general direction.

-Frail Beauty

Poker time!!!

I recently started playing poker and have become an addict so come play! & if you know of any good poker sites, I’m still a NEWB.

I can sympathize

“The last years of my life have been in some ways the best, and the worst I’ve ever had.

They’ve been the best because I have probably experienced more, pushed harder. And I’ve done it on my own ambition, drive, and dedication.

They’ve been the worst, because I have done it all on my own. At the end of the day, I have no one to share the simple pleasures with, to help bear my burdens, and to push me to be better. It gets exhausting.”

Tina

“Everything and nothing.
everyone and no one.
everywhere but nowhere.
a religion.
a cult.
your neighbor, your mother, AND your dog.
the meaning of life.
a theory.
a fact.
me.
you.
Tina: just look next to you, you’ll know”

— Urban Dictionary